In loving memory of our beloved sister Najma

For couple of days, I have been feeling quite sad thinking about death. On 10th March at 2:43 Najma Gani , a beautiful sister who was in her early 30s passed away in St.Georges Hospital Tooting. Inna lillahe wa inna ilaiher rajeuun... Verily we belong to Allah and we will return to Him. She was suffering from Acute Pro Myeloid Leukaemia. She was first diagnosed with Leukaemia in 2006, which is a rare cancerous malignancy of the Blood and the Bone marrow; she achieved remission, but subsequently relapsed in 2007 and then again in 2008. It was decided due to the aggressive nature of her particular Leukaemia and the rarity she would be receiving a matching-sibling-allograft-bone marrow transplant, after further chemotherapy and radiotherapy. That third attempt to cure her with the full Bone Marrow Transplant gave her almost a year Cancer free, though she was in extremely strong Immuno-Suppression therapy, to ensure the transplant was not rejected. however in 2010 she relapsed and was back in hospital for intra-thecal chemotherapy. She had to go through a lot. May Allah subhana ta'ala reward her for every moment of hardship she had to endure, ameen! She was such an amazing sister with so much patience and gratitude towards Allah subhan ta'ala. I have been following her difficult journey through Facebook. Sometimes her emotional status update on FB made me feel so sad for her and ashamed of me for taking my life for granted. Unfortuanately we tend to forget that we all have to leave this Earth one day and meet our Lord. I remember her last status update on 24th February at 9:31

“ i rarely cry, yesterday i did though most of the night, none of the treatment since october 2011, has worked & achieved remission, i have been given just one more drug to try how close are we to death. im back in hospital this afternoon after 5 beautiful days with my family. please remember me in your duas i know Allah is able to do all things!!!

On 17 February she wrote:

“feb 17th is a day of reflection for me & my family, its the day six years ago i was diagnosed with leukaemia. six years on i am still fighting, im worn out & my life has turned out completely different to what i imagined. i have so much to be thankful for, and so many questions for my creator....but at the end of this i know there is a better place where pain & disease no longer exist and the battle in this life will def be worth the rewards of the next....it took a while to reach this conclusion but alhamdulilah i understand it now.”

She once posted a poem by brother Babar Ahmad titled 'The Final Mile'

O one bound in fetters of steel,

Trust me, I know how you feel.

When that door slams shut at night,

The reality begins to bite.

You alone with your thoughts.

Hopes and fears of all sorts.

What will arrive tomorrow?

Some good news or just more sorrow?

Know, my friend, that every ocean has a shore.

And every hardship has a door.

Every desert has springs.

And every caged bird has wings.

So hold your head high and smile.

For perhaps you are on the final mile.

She wrote at the end of the poem "made me cry lying here in the Leukaemia ward"

"he is ( Babar Ahmad) such a kind friend, he ends every letter to me telling me to smile and reminding me of the rewards its really emotional for me too."

"Inshallah I shall fight this jihad Allah has prescribed for me for as long as it is written in my qadr.... Tomorrow inshallah triple chemotherapy cocktail injected into my spinal canal... I need duas but mostly I need sabr/patience."

Mashallah may Allah subhana t'ala bless brother Babar Ahmad for being so kind while he himself is going through a very difficult time, being locked up for years for no reason, subhanallah. O Allah subhana ta'ala make his life easy for him and reward him with the best, ameen! Mashallah even his family went to visit Najma at the hospital. What a beautiful family mashallah! This Sunday she was buried at Garden of Peace in Hainault. I have been feeling very sad . There was a post by brother Manwar Ali which made me feel a bit better alhamdulillah. I would like to share his post with you too.

" Our sister in faith Ny Gani has passed away to God's mercy. She wrote on the 17th of February, ‘Six years on I am still fighting, I’m worn out & my life has turned out completely different to what I imagined. I have so much to be thankful for, and so many questions for my Creator....but at the end of this I know there is a better place where pain & disease no longer exist and the battle in this life will definitely be worth the rewards of the Next....it took a while to reach this conclusion but alhamdulillah I understand it now.'

Very few of us really do understand this. That’s why her death is so much more painful for us. May Allah bless her with the best of Paradise for the knowledge she had attained, about which we remain shallow, despite all our reading and hearing to understand and prepare precisely for that passing over into eternity. May she live on in the memory of the living and be remembered in their prayers for her.

I dedicate the following poem to the sister’s memory:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die. [Mary Frye]

I supplicate to Allah subhana ta'ala to grant her jannatul ferdous. She went through so much but never felt hopeless, subhanallah. Allah subhana ta'ala is always there for us no matter how hard the test is. Insha-Allah she is in peace now. Mashallah lots of people turned up for her janaza (funeral) at Woolwich Islamic centre. Most of them are family and friends. But around zuhr time quite a lot of Somail sisters were there, who were attending their Qur'an session mashallah. They also made dua for Najma. Insha-Allah the duas of every single one of us will be accepted by Allah subhana ta'ala.

Dear Najma, you are indeed an amazing star mashallah! You are named Najma which comes from the arabic word Najm meaning star. You are definitely a star my dearest sis. You have inspired us so much with your amazing personality. During all the hardship, you didn't forget the ummah of our beloved prophet sallallahu alaihe wa sallam. You were involved in promoting good causes such as Desidonors and other projects. You used your time to write and inspire others to get more active and lead better lives, lives filled with love and fear of Allah subhana wa ta'ala. We all will be missing you my dear sis! May Allah subhana ta'ala bless your family and friends and give them strength and sabr to endure your absence and work hard to unite with you in jannah, ameen!

If you would like to share your duas and best wishes for sister Najma , please visit her site http://www.najmagani.com/ and leave your message there. Your message can bring some peace and solace to her beloved family and all the people out there who are going through difficult times, Insha-Allah. May Allah subhana ta'ala give us the tawfique ( ability) to learn from her amazing life and do our best to use our limited time and energy to please Him, ameen! Insha-Allah we will meet in jannah. Untill then rest in peace my dearest sis! xxxxxxxxxxx