Friday, 29 June 2012

Being Me Sisters Conference : Zohra Sarwari

Alhamdulillah this year so far has been quite a productive year for me. At the start of this month I went to Being me Sisters event in London organised by Mercy Mission UK Alhamdulillah. Last year for the first time, they organised a sisters only event at Tower Bridge. I really wanted to go but couldn’t get the chance.
Alhamdulilllah this year they invited some great speakers. I was really looking forward to sister Zohra Sarwari’s talks and workshops on home-schooling. I have always been quite fascinated by education and tarbiyyah of children so this was my opportunity to learn more. Alhamdulillah I wasn’t disappointed J she is really inspiring mashAllah. I wish she was based here in London! Her first talk was titled “Importance of Islamic Education, tarbiyah and manners in children”

No doubt, parenting is a difficult job, full of challenges. We as parent can feel sometimes quite overwhelmed with all the problems. But we should try our best to fulfil this great responsibility. Zohra told us that we need to remember three points to tackle all the challenges:
First: Acknowledging the problem: Sometimes parents don’t want to admit that they got a problem to deal with.
Second: Being proactive
Third: Waiting patiently (Sabr)

She mentioned a beautiful hadith “One who has good manners may attain the same level of merit as the one who prays all night” Narrated by Abu Hurairah (RAW) [Bukhari]

As parents our goal should be to teach children the best manners and behaviour and not just that, they grow up to have a respective profession. Unfortunately, we live in a world, where acheiving professional success is the ultimate goal. Life as a Muslim is more than that. We are here to serve Allah Subhan Ta'ala. Allah Subhana Ta'ala wants us to excel in both worlds.
In the Qur'an Allah Subhans Ta'ala teaches us an amazing dua:

Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire
[2:201]
Usually people tend to take these steps below in bringing up their children:

Blame game: “Oh he learns all bad stuff from that certain kid at school”
Sunday school: Unfortunately, most of the parents expect the Sunday schools ( most of the times taking place in the mosques) to teach their children about Islam. “My kid will learn everything from his mosque teacher.”
Bribery: Always telling the children that if they listen then you will give them something nice in return. “Honey, if you do your homework, I will give you a candy.”
Punishment: If they don’t listen, just punish them.

Now the tips for effective parenting according to sis Zohra:
We must stop blaming others if our children misbehave. We are the parents so who should teach our children the right behaviour. If we rely on the Sunday schools to teach our children manners and values of Islam, then shame on us! Wow! I thought it was just me who thought like that! I definitely agree with her on this point. I still don’t get it why people send their children to the mosque to learn about their faith. I strongly believe that this is our responsibility to educate our children about Islam as a way of life inshAllah. No way I would like to delegate this huge responsibility on someone else. My husband also believes that we need to teach them about our faith. Also we need to remember that our children are our investment. If we help them to be better Mislims, we will get the reward from our Rabb Insh-Allah. Why would I want somebody else to gain that reward?

She also told us to be proactive as parents. What do you want from your kids? What is your goal? I want my children to behave well and grow up in a good environment. Then I must get rid of all the bad influences i.e. TV, video games, internet, PlayStations and all the distractions.
We need to check who they befriend and advise them to befriend the right kind as bad “friends” are too easy to find. Some may think “Do we isolate the kids then?” “Yes! For a while.” She said.
When they are growing up if we as parents can isolate them from satanic tricks, deceit and means then when they are responsible young kids , they will Insh-Allah have a strong enough imaan to avoid the evil influences on their own.
“Richness does not lie in the rich goods and the person but it lies in the richness of a pious heart.”

Focus!
Focus only on bringing the kids up the best way possible insh-Allah. If they make mistakes, try to bring them back with your help and tenderness. Reward them occasionally when they do something good. Don’t get mad when they do something wrong. Explain to them what they have done wrong. Don’t hit them as they are weaker than you and helpless too.
You need to fill your home with books. Books on our faith, history, sociology, science and so on. The more books our children can read the better inshAllah. Instead of buying all the brand stuff and hi-tech gadgets to kill their time, buy them good books which will broaden their mind inshallah.

MashAllah her talk was so captivating that I really didn’t have that much time to take notes. I just kept listening. She mentioned about home schooling and how this is the best option for our children. I can't agree more with her alhamdulillah.
Below is an interview of her on the Deen show where she talks about homeschooling. Do listen if you are interested in educating your own children inshAllah.
MashAllah she is indeed a very inspiring sister. Alhamdulillah I have managed to buy some of her books. You can find more about her at http://zohrasarwari.com/

I believe that duas are the essence of good paretning. We cannot be good parents without duas. Here below are some great duas you can keep making inshAllah:



Supplication to protect children from Shaytan (dua of Maryam’s (AS) mother):
“Allahumma inni u-idhuha [hu] bika wa dhurriyyataha [hu] mina’sha-shaytani’r-rajiim(i).”
“O Allah, I put her [him], and her [his] progeny under Your protection from Satan, the accursed” - (part of Qur’an Surah 3:36).
Supplication to have children (dua of Zakariyya (AS)):
“Rabbi laa tadharnii fardaw wa Anta Kharu ‘l-waarithin(a).”
“O my Lord! Leave me not without offspring, though You are the best of inheritors” - (part of Qur’an Surah 21:89)
Supplication to have a blessed family:
“Rabbanaa hablanaa min azwaajinaa wa dhurriyyatina qurrata a’yun(iw), wa ‘j’alnaa li’l muttaqiina imaaman.”
And who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring, the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaquun (pious).” - (part of Qur’an Surah 25:74)

Monday, 25 June 2012

Welcoming the month of Shaban

Alhamdulillah the month of Shaban is here. This is the 8th month in the Islamic calendar. It is reported that Prophet Muhammad (Salla’llahu‘alayhi wa sallam), used to fast most of the month in Shaban except the last few days of the month.
These fasts are supererogatory (nafl). Shaban is the month immediately before the month of Ramadan. The Prophet (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) mentioned in a hadith, "Rajab is the month of Allah, Shaban is my month and Ramadan is the month of the Nation".
The blessed companion Usama ibn Zaid (Radya’llahu ‘anhu), reports that he asked Prophet Muhammad (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam): "Messenger of Allah, I have seen you fasting in the month of Shaban so frequently that I have never seen you fasting in any other month." Prophet Muhammad (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), replied: "That (Shaban) is a month between Rajab and Ramadan which is neglected by many people. And it is a month in which an account of the deeds (of human beings) is presented before the Lord of the universe, so, I wish that my deeds be presented at a time when I am in a state of fasting."

Ummul Mu'mineen 'Aishah (Radya’llahu ‘anha), says,"Prophet Muhammad (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), used to fast for most of Shaban. I said to him, 'Messenger of Allah, is Shaban your favourite month for fasting?' He said, 'In this month Allah prescribes the list of the persons dying this year. Therefore, I like that my death comes when I am in a state of fasting.' "

In another Tradition she says, "Prophet Muhammad, (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), would sometimes begin to fast continuously until we thought he would not stop fasting, and sometimes he used to stop fasting until we thought he would never fast. I never saw the Messenger of Allah, (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), fasting a complete month, except the month of Ramadan, and I have never seen him fasting in a month more frequently than he did in Sha'ban."
In another report she says, "I never saw the Messenger of Allah, (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), fasting in a month so profusely as he did in the month of Sha'ban. He used to fast in that month leaving only a few days, rather, he used to fast almost the whole of the month."
Ummul-Mu'mineen Umm Salamah, (Radya’llahu ‘anha), says: "I have never seen the Messenger of Allah fasting for two months continuously except in the months of Sha'ban and Ramadan."
The blessed companion Anas, Radi-Allahu anhu, reports that Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, was asked, "Which fast is the most meritorious after the fasts of Ramadan?" He replied, "Fasts of Shaban in honor of Ramadan."
These reports indicate that fasting in the month of Shaban, though not obligatory but are very desireble and that Prophet Muhammad (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) did not like to miss it.
However, according to Mufti Taqi Usmani, it should be kept in mind that the fasts of Sha'ban are for those persons only who are capable of keeping them without causing deficiency in the obligatory fasts of Ramadan. Therefore, if one fears that after fasting in Sha'ban, he will lose strength or freshness for the fasts of Ramadan and will not be able to fast in it with freshness; he should not fast in Sha'ban, because the fasts of Ramadan, being obligatory, are more important than the optional fasts of Sha'ban. That is why Prophet Muhammad, (Salla’llahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), himself has forbidden the Muslims from fasting one or two days immediately before the commencement of Ramadan. The blessed Companion Abu Hurairah, (Radi-Allahu anhu), reports Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, to have said, "Do not fast after the first half of the month of Sha'ban is gone."
Here is a short video about preparation during the month of Shaban:
The Month of Sha'ban and Preparing for Ramadan

There is also a great talk done by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan on Ramadan preparation. Please do listen and try to take notes inshAllah.

May Allah Subhana Ta’ala give us all the the tawfique (ability) and tayseer (easiness) to fast in this great month. Do remember to do the dua below very frequently insh-Allah:
When the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) sighted the moon of Rajab (two months before Ramadan) he used to pray to Allah in the following words:
اَللّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَنَا فِى رَجَبَ وَ شَعْبَانَ وَ بَلِّغْنَا رَمَضَان
Allahumma barik lana fi Rajab wa Sha’ban wa ballighna Ramadan
O Allah! Make the months of Rajab and Sha’ban blessed for us, and let us reach the month of Ramadan (i.e. prolong our life up to Ramadan, so that we may benefit from its merits and blessings)
[Narrated by at-Tabarani and Ahmad]

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Seeds of change : Be the best of womankind Part 2


“Seeds of change: We need a dawah revolution” by sister Fatima Barkatulla

We as human beings are very special. Allah Subhana ta’ala bestowed us with nafs. Nafs( soul) comes from the word nafees which means precious. Every year hundreds and thousands of babies are killed. Their crime is they are girls. Abortions are done in brutal way to get rid of the babies. After the abortion, the mothers are told that the pregnancy has been removed successfully. These poor souls are not even given any identity. They are just unwanted pregnancies! This is the world without Islam, where one night stand is a norm, people want to enjoy without taking responsibility.

40 million prostitutes around the world, 80,000 prostitutes in the UK. These are all daughters of Adam (AS). They were precious once upon a time. This cruel, materialistic world made their lives miserable. So many women around us are suffering. They are lost. Who will tell them that there is a God who loves them and cares about them? Who will tell them there is a purpose? Who will tell them the truth, my dear sisters?
This world is like a labyrinth. Most of the people are lost and don’t have a clue how to get out. You as a Muslim are given the map. But you are not sharing your map. What does it tell about you?
Shariah came for preservation of human life, dignity, lineage, property, sacredness of human soul. Who will convey this message?
The most important blessing in our life is our faith. We are so blessed to be Muslims, Alhamdulillah. How can we not share this beautiful faith with everyone else? We must start a dawah revolution.
There are so many people in this world; we will love to have our problems. Our problems are noting in comparison with what most of the people have to go through.
So what is dawah revolution? Every single day of our life can be a dawah day. We can make our family a beacon of change in our community. We need to think about dawah potentials. As sisters, we are significant. The most powerful change can come from a mother, who raises her children as future scholars and leaders. We all can be soldiers of Allah Subhana Ta’ala.
Think about what talent you have. Use your tool. Think about what you can offer your Creator.
Sister Fatima’s talk was really amazing, very emotional for me. I make sincere dua that Allah Subhana Ta’ala make me and my precious family do our best to serve Him, ameen! I hope we all can become good dawees InshaAllah.
I have always been a big fan of sis Fatima Barkatullah. You can have a look at her blog: http://muslimmotherhood.blogspot.co.uk/

Just a bit more info about her: “Born and raised in the United Kingdom, Fatima has had a rich Islamic education at an early age thanks to her parents. Fatima began her Arabic and Islamic studies in Egypt at prominent institutes such as Al-Fajr Center, Qortoba Institute and Al Azhar University. Currently Fatima is an instructor and lecturer for iERA.”

The next talk was by brother Hamza Tzortzis titled PhDawah on Campus (4.05 pm)

By 4 I was quite exhausted so the quality of my notes are that good, I’m afraid L Brother Hamza talked about the importance of dawah and how we Muslim women can get involved inshAllah to be good dawees. At the start he talked about knowledge. According to him, there is nothing such as secular knowledge. For us, every knowledge comes from Allah Subhana Ta’ala. Our Rabb taught us bayaan (Surah Ar-Rahman) i.e the words/ languages. Islam teaches us to think, to ponder. There is a grand design. Everything is here for a purpose. MashAllah as sisters we are especially blessed by Allah Subhana ta’ala. Muslim sisters maintain their haya (modesty) through hijab. We muslimahs are free from social pressure. Thus we can have a profound effect inshaAllah. He addressed us all the attendees to feel glad and grateful that we were able to take part at the event. We are here because we wanted to be closer to our Rabb Alhamdulillah. He recommended us to do the Call of duty course to learn about how to give dawah effectively.

A bit more about the dawah course:


As we are an ipod generation, we can do so much dawah through internet and all the technologies available to us, inshAllah. He asked us to study the lives of our great companions of our beloved prophet ( Sallallahu Alaihe wa sallam). Without their efforts and tremendous sacrifice, we wouldn’t have known about Islam. No doubt, Islam is the biggest blessing in our life Alhamdulillah. What are we doing to convey the message? He talked about how powerful and well-organised the Christian missionaries are. Subhanallah we have the truth but where is our dedication, sisters? Just imagine the world where every single Muslim takes dawah seriously!
You can find more about his work at http://www.hamzatzortzis.com/

My vision for your role in Dawah by brother AbdurRaheem Green

Most of the session was geared to fund raising for iERA. MashaAllah lots of generous sisters have donated, Alhamdulillah. May Allah subhana ta’ala put lots of baraka in iERA projects, ameen! He reminded us the importance of giving sadaqa in Islam and inviting people to our faith. Allah subhana ta’ala doesn’t ask us to convert anyone, as the guidance is only from Him. But He told us to convey the message and give them dawah. Dawah needs to become a culture, a habit, an essential part of our being. You, especially as a mother, wife, daughter, sister-in-faith can do this important job. He mentioned that if we give , then charity (sadaqa) becomes a proof that we believe in Allah subhana ta’ala. When we spend in Allah’s way, He gives us more! He subhana ta’ala increases our wealth through charity , subhanallah.
You can give your sadaqa to iERA through their website at http://www.iera.org.uk/

But just helping them financially, should never make us feel like yes we have done our duty of giving dawah. We need to actively engage in propagating the message of Islam among our neighbours, families, relatives and people in general, inshaAllah.

Climbing the corporate ladder to jannah

Sister Rahma Abulatif talked about how the Muslim working women should present themselves at workplaces. She is a policy & performance team leader. She was saying how sometimes we tend to think we need to dress and behave in certain way to fit in office environment. Unfortunately quite a lot of Muslim working women end up compromising their hijab standards. We really need to think how we carry ourselves as Muslims. Do we really need to compromise. If we are very well-organised and professional, that should be enough to get promotions. We need to learn how we can make any conversation a dawah conversation insha-Allah.

Sister Yasmin Mogahed did couple of small talks throughout the day through video link. As I was at the ‘Mother & Baby’ room, I couldn't really hear the videos very clearly. The way they made the video, she looked like a giant! Lol! I always love her beautiful talks and articles.
Do have a look at her website: http://www.yasminmogahed.com/
She also has a FB group: http://www.facebook.com/YasminMogahed
Her YouTube link is http://www.youtube.com/yasminmogahedonline


The last talk of the day was by brother Abu Hafsa AbulMalik Clare. MashAllah an amazing brother, mashAllah. I was just listening to his talk and really didn’t get the chance to take notes. The title of his talk was Womankind: The Ummah’s Engine. He addressed us sisters as “Impact players” mashAllah. During the talk he called his wife and daughter who were abroad. His family said salam to us all through the phone speaker J He is a very funny brother mashAllah. As some of you may know, he is blind. But his disability did not stop him from calling people to their Creator Allah Subhan ta’ala, mashAllah. He talked about the great ladies in Islamic history. Maryam (AS) the ultimate single mum subhanallah! She (AS) has raised an amazing son, one of the prominent prophets mashAllah, Eesa (AS) aka Jesus (AS). She was always there for him.

He talked about Musa (AS)‘s mum and how she made sacrifice for her son, subhanallah. He mentioned Khadija (RAW) ‘the engine of Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihe wa sallam)’.

You can find more about him through his mashAllah very active FB page: http://www.facebook.com/AbuHafsahAbdulMalikClare

Abu Hafsa "Abdulmalik Clare" - Blind Hearts

Alhamdulillah I am really grateful to Allah subhana ta’ala for giving me the opportunity to be there for the whole day. At the end of the session, they gave us all a dawah box each. MashAllah it was very kind of them Alhamdulillah.

May Allah Subhana Ta’ala bless every single person who worked so hard to make this event a success, ameen! May Allah Subhana ta’ala give us all the tawfique (ability) and tayseer (easiness) to implement the lessons we have learnt at the event, ameen! Lot of sisters here in the UK and in abroad are not that lucky like us to have this sort of events. And that’s why I really wanted to share my notes feesabilillah. My apology for notes being not that well-written L After all you really cannot expect that much from a very busy mum of three kids all under 4.5 alhamdulillah J Jazakallah kahiarn for reading this post.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

iERA Seeds of change: Be the best of womankind

The event took place on 20 th May 2012 at Park Plaza Westminster Bridge, London. As you can see it took me almost a month to do a blogpost :-( I made quite a lot of notes and I am still typing them up whenever I get time. InshAllah hope to share the notes by end of this month :-) Please do bare with me :-) InshAllah so much to learn and implement bi-idnillah!

Alhamdulillah I felt really glad to be able to attend the event with my baby Yusuf. My husband looked after the older two kids with the help of mum-in-law alhamdulillah as I was off from 8 to 8 pm! I was really impressed by the way the sisters and some brothers organised the event mashAllah.

MashAllah they were very professional. A couple of days before the event, they sent an email providing all the information needed for the day i.e. timing, nearest stations, travel planner link, weather on the day, hijab protocol, etc. A couple of sisters were at the front entrance to give us a warm welcome. We were provided with bags which included quite a self-explanatory booklet about the event and programme for the day. At the end of the booklet, there was a personal action plan which I thought was quite a good idea mashaAllah. There were writing pads and pencils on each chair at “Mother & baby" room. I am not sure about the main hall.

They also had some sisters standing at the various train stations that sisters were coming from. There were some sisters at the lifts to direct sisters to their designated places i.e. main conference hall, crèche, mother and baby room. They had a designated place for buggies. I know from experience how messy it can get when mothers just leave their buggies and bags everywhere and these causes problem for other guests. The ‘Mother & baby' room was organised quite efficiently, chairs in the middle of the room (the screen was in the middle too but as it was quite a big one, mothers who chose to sit on the floor at the sides were able to watch the live programme comfortably), at one side there was a place for buggies as well as some chairs at the back for mothers to breastfeed. On the other side, they provided milk warmer and toys, bouncer, blankets for babies. That's why I chose to sit their on the floor and let Yusuf play there. Alhamdulillah it was really relaxing environment for everyone. They had plenty of activity stuff at the crèche.

Allocating a special place for mothers was really good. Sometimes as mothers of young children we miss out the lectures. Even if a mother wants to stay there but if the baby is making noise, the mothers end up getting some funny looks from our naive sisters :-(. If event organisers can allocate a special corner for mothers in the main hall, then everyone can enjoy the conference insha-Allah and the mothers won’t feel as conscious of disturbing others.

The volunteers were always there, occasionally asking whether we need tea, coffee. It was sold at a reasonable price of £1:50. Given the location of the event, the price was definitely a good one. They even provided lunch, although it wasn't mentioned to us when we bought the ticket so that was a treat alhamdulillah.

The lunch was a bag with a chicken roll, a bag of crisps, a chocolate bar, tissue and a fork and a bottle of water. I think it was great not to give a rice-based meal as it does have the potential to make us feel sleepy given we were there from 9 to 8. As you know unfortunately we tend to criticize food and don't feel content with what has been offered, they put a great reminder on the screen during lunch time showing “The next time you can't decide which type of food to eat, remember there is a mother in Somalia who can't decide which child to feed." Abu Hafsah

I think that was a briliant idea mashaAllah.

In the lavatories, they provided us with plenty of towels and there were water containers at each toilet. Surprisingly toilet floors were not wet :-) which is highly unlikely with any Muslim events. They also left a reminder at the back of the loo door "Cleanliness is part of imaan" There was actually quite a lot of beautiful reminders (from the Quran and the sunnah) through out the halls and the corridors.

When it was break for salah, the presenter told the first two rows to leave first and subsequently every other row followed them. I think this way, you can avoid the risk of overcrowding and steady flow of the sisters toward the prayer room. I remember at Twins of Faith event at Excel last year, the prayer room entrance was ridiculously blocked as people were not following the directions given by the volunteers. Even the volunteers were a bit out of their depth :-( There was a HUGE area for prayers but unfortunately a lot of the people ended up praying in front of the shops and corridors :-(

iERA sisters also allocated a sister to lead us for zuhr and asar salah at the mother and baby room. There was also a big prayer room for everyone else.

Around 6 pm, they had a 'Dance & hug' session which was quite refreshing. I think it would have been great if it was done at the start as an ice-breaker :-) MashAllah young sisters are most of the time, happy and friendly but sometimes our older sisters, mothers, and aunts need a bit of a push to get into sisterly love ;-)

I have taken quite a lot of notes. Mashallah the speakers were awesome. Even the booklet given by them is really good. I love reading it. Let me share some extracts from the booklet:

“We, the women of the Ummah are truly blessed. We have been freed from the shackles and narrowness of being slaves of created things and have been blessed to be slaves of the Creator alone, who knows us and loves what is best for us.
Millions of people around us are lost in darkness, they are searching for peace of mind, for meaning, for the fulfilment that we have. We meet them every day, we eat with them, we study with them, we work with them. How sad then if we do not fulfil our duty and share with them the light that we have – the light of Islam?”
Fatima Barkatulla iERA Lecturer & Instructor

The bubbly host Nida ul Iman : “ Three years ago I attended a conference unenthused, now three years later I stand in front of you welcoming you to iERA’s first International Women’ conference – “ Seeds of change: Be the Best of womankind”. So ladies, get ready to plant some seeds in calling the world back to allah. If we don’t meet again I pray we all meet in Jannah where we can see the fruits of the seeds we planted, insha-Allah.”
I can just keep quoting from the booklet but I want to share some notes I have taken from the talks insh-Allah. Some of the talks really hit me mashAllah. One of them was by Umm Raiyaan “Being a Muslimah- The power within” She talked about life and how we should lead our lives to please our Creator. Life is a collection of memories. What are your memories sisters? As we travel through the memory lane, there are some painful memories that we don’t want to remember and there are some which we cherish so much. She talked about a sister who had several miscarriages and wasn’t able to conceive. Instead of giving her mental support, her in-laws were abusive towards her. She was heart-broken but she made a dua to Allah Subhana Ta’ala asking “O Allah! Let me live my life for You!” MashAllah she has been a Qur’an teacher and lots of sisters have learnt the Qur’an, the word of Allah subhana ta’ala from her. As you can see, the sister decided to live her life to serve Allah subhana ta’ala with whatever skills she had mashAllah. Sometimes we have plans such as getting degrees, nice jobs, getting married, having children but we really need to understand that Allah Subhana Ta’ala got a plan for us . He knows what is best for us. We as Muslimahs need to trust Him and listen to Him. We all have the potentials to do a lot but the question is will we do it?

Umm Raiyaan runs a support organisation for revert sisters. You can find more at http://www.solaceuk.org/

Another talk which really caught my attention was Mothers of the Ummah: architectures of future by sister Umm Umar.

The essence of her talk was about the importance of mothers as the builders of our ummah. Motherhood is a skill. Mother is the factory of making a good generation. Her job is to make good human being. We all want good leaders for our Ummah but have we really sowed the seeds? As a mother, you are actually the window through which your child sees the world. Mothers need to make positive change from the very start of their pregnancies. They must instil the love of Allah subhana ta’ala from the very beginning. Who is your child’s role model? How is your child going to know his/her role-model? Life is too short. Do we really even have time to read all the fake, fairy stories to them??? Sometimes as parents we think there is not enough resources for our children. If you cannot find good Islamic resources, you can make up your own stories based on the Qur’an and the sunnah.

Tarbiyyah of nafsiyyah: Your child must know that you love him/her very much. Keep reminding them but they also need to know you love Allah subhan ta’ala more than them. Allah subhana ta’ala loves us more than our parents.

Tarbiyyah of Ibadah: We parents are the trainers for our children. By 7 they should be ready for worship. She mentioned very briefly tarbiyyah of Ilmiyyah and aqaliyyah but I couldn’t really take notes L

A quick summery of her talk was:

1. You as a parent need to have a clear goal i.e. what do I want them to be.

2. I need to be a good example

3. Constant guard of their behaviour

4. Warning

5. Make them repeat what you are saying so that it becomes a second nature for them

6. Maintaining enthusiasm.

The talk was kind of rushed so she couldn’t really explain the last couple of points.

One true story she told was quite amazing mashAllah. Once a Muslim kid was asked who is his role model. While most of the other kids just mentioned Superman, Spiderman as their role models, this boy said Bilal (RAW) is his role model. After the school the teacher asked the boy’s mum who Bilal is. MashAllah as you all know he was one of the great companions of our beloved prophet Muhammad (SAW). He was especially famous for doing the adhaan (call to prayer) in Medina mosque. I make dua to my Rabb that my children take these great Muslims as their role-models InshAllah. The mother of this boy read the true stories of prophets (AS) and companions during bedtime. No wonder the boy knew and fall in love with these great men of Islam.

Our life is too short to tell our precious children the fake & fairy stories. Umm Umar said that if we give them rubbish, then no doubt rubbish is going to come out of them. We are what we read and think about! Subhanallah her talk was very powerful mashAllah. She also said that we don’t really have any excuse such as there are not enough books on Islam. Just read them from the Quran and the sunnah ( Hadith books). Make your own simple stories based on the stories in the Quran and the sunnah. I wish she was given at least half an hour more to elaborate the points she mentioned. (The final part is here)