The importance of having good character

At our Tuesday halaqa (circle), our beloved ustadha Umm Abdullah joined us through Skype to teach us about the importance of nurturing good characters among ourselves and our loved ones.

I took some notes. Below I have just shared some of the lessons I have learnt from the talk. So it is not her exact words. The post is based on my understanding of her talk. And I have added my own notes based on the books I am reading for last couple of weeks alhamdulillah.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is the most forgiving. Sinners can be completely forgiven on the day of judgement. But there are some sins which will not be forgiven without sincere repentance. The sin of Shirk i.e associating partners to God, harming other creations are very serious sins. Disbelief (Kufr) is the biggest sin which is the opposite of Shukr (Gratefulness, thankfulness, appreciating the blessing of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala).When we deny Allah’s existence, we deny the very fact that we are here only because of Him. We are nothing without His Grace and Mercy on us. We won’t even survive even a second without His continuous blessings on us. So being humble and grateful to Him is really crucial for us as human beings. 

When we read about the prophets in the Qur’an and the Sunnah of our beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alaihe wa sallam, we always find them as the most humble and polite people on this earth.  Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala mentions them as his grateful slaves. The most honourable title someone can get as a Muslim is to be called the slave of Allah (Abd-Ullah or Amat-Ullah). Our beloved Rasulullah‘s most honourable title is to be mentioned as the slave of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala has so many attributes and we must try our best to instil those attributes in our life. Allah is witr (odd number) and He loves odd numbers. According to Sunnah, we try to worship (ibadah) in odd numbers. For example, we do zikr in odd numbers. We like to repeat the actions of wadu (purification) in odd numbers. Allah is compassionate and He loves the compassionate ones. Allah is the Gentle one and He loves the gentle slaves. He is forgiving and he loves the forgiving ones. Our Rasulullah sallallahu alaihe wa sallam accepted any excuse given by the people (companions and non-Muslims). He was so gentle and forgiving to people subhanallah. Allah will treat us the way we treat others around us. He will forgive the ones who forgive others. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala hide our faults. Do we hide peoples’ faults? As parents, do we hide our children’s fault? How many of us enjoy talking bad about our spouses when they are not around? As parents and spouses, do we accept the excuses given by our loves ones? Time for serious reflection I believe.

Whoever shames other people, Allah will shame him/her. When we deal with people with mercy, forgiveness, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala will deal with us with the same qualities. When we ease someone’s hardship, Allah will give ease to us on the Day of Judgement. So in a nutshell, if we want Allah subhananu wa ta’ala to treat us with His Ridwaan i.e Pleasure, we must do our best to incorporate His attributes in our day to day life.

So we need to make pledge with ourselves. When we write down the pledge, it becomes a firm agreement. So let us make pledge to be grateful and thankful, to be merciful and forgiving to others, to hide the faults of others, to be gentle and caring, to be helpful and supportive of others, to serve others with ihsaan and ithaar InshaAllah! Ihsaan means to be worshipping Allah with a firm feeling that I can see Him or He is watching me. And Ithaar means to prefer others over us and our needs even if our needs seem greater than the others’. Our beloved Rasulullah is a great example of Ihsaan and ithaar. He always helped others even when he was in bigger need. He even borrowed to give charity! Subhanallah what an amazing human being! I believe he is the best of creations for a reason. The more we know about him, he more we love and cherish him, sallallahu alaihe wa sallam.

This pledge must start with a sincere dua to our Rabb to enable us to fulfil the pledge. Because without His help and mercy, we can never achieve anything in life. It always reminds me of one of the most powerful verses from the Qur’an: La hawla wa la quwwata illah billah which roughly means there is no power of might except with Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. This powerful ayah (verse) reminds me that I am not able to do any good deed with Allah swt’s Help and I cannot stay away from an evil deed without His Help. It keeps you grounded alhamdulillah. There is no scope of being proud when I perform a good deed or feeling completely hopeless when I commit a sin.

Ustadha did mention a very beautiful quote from a scholar. I believe we can use it as a motto inshaAllah.

“If we cannot gladden someone, let us not sadden them. If we cannot benefit someone, let us not harm them. If cannot speak well of someone, let us not speak ill of them."

Allah is Al-Halim, the Forbearing one. He tolerates with goodness. Even when we are disobedient to Him, He blesses us with so many blessings. The life on earth (dunya) is not easy but our Rabb wants us try our best. Every evil is based on our ego. Our ego always tells us to react in a wrong way. It is a huge temptation. But we must control our ego. And to achieve that, first we must ask Allah to help us. O Allah! I seek Your refuge from the evil of my nafs (ego), ameen!

Why has Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala taught us His beautiful names and attributes? So that we can instil the beautiful qualities. We have the potentials to follow his attributes. By following the last prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihe wa sallam inwardly and outwardly we can improve our characters. May Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala enable us to follow His attributes and be the righteous ones, ameen! Nothing is impossible with His Help.

MRDF Family retreat : The Companions:Their lives and legacy

The event was from 28th to 31st of August 2015 and it was held at University of Leicester. We have been to the university before attending the JIMAS conference couple of years ago. We left after Jumuah as the MRDF people did mention that they are not providing any jumuah facility there on the day. So we left just after jumuah. There was a bit of traffic on the way as lot of people leave London around bank holiday weekends. When we finally reached Leicester, we smelt quite a lot of cow dung! Kids were quite shocked by the smell. For me, it was quite a delight as the smell took me back to my childhood holidays to my granddad's place in rural Bangladesh. My granddad was a very devoted farmer. He died last year. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless him with jannatul ferdous.

 

Leicester is known as the heart of rural England. It was great to see so many cattle scattered around the area. Sometimes as city dwellers we lose our crucial connection to nature. That's why travelling to rural areas is very important. I don't think our kids will ever appreciate the countryside the way we did. I miss my childhood, roaming around rural Iran and during holidays , rural Bangladesh.

 

We reached there at the campus around 6 pm Alhamdulillah. During our stay at the university, we attended quite a lot of lectures, panel discussions and seminars. I did take quite a lot of notes Alhamdulillah. I hope to share some here with you inshaAllah.

 

Our companions are the best of our Ummah. Nobody can be better than them. They are like the starts. W need to follow them if we have the same goal like them. Their main goal was pleasing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and a strong desire to be successful in hereafter (Akhira). They sacrificed whatever they can to establish Islam as a faith on this earth. If we question their integrity, we are actually questioning our faith! The faith was established on this earth by them with the help of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and Rasulullah sallallahu alaihe wa sallam. Allah subhanahu wa talala Himself mentioned in His Book, the Qur'an that He is pleased  with them. How can we criticize them or question their integrity as believers? The person who criticizes them, has a sickness in his heart.

 

Companions are not like angels, free of desires. But they did their best as believers. They constantly asked for forgiveness as they know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala loves the people who constantly repent. We as Muslim have an obligation to follow them. In Surah At-Tawba , Allah swt tells us that He is pleased with those who follow the sahaba. Imam Malik (Ra) tells us that their actions are loved by Allah swt so we should follow them. They are the most blessed. Allah swt blessed them with criterion , to know the difference from good and bad, right and wrong. Imam Malik (RA) tells us, what was not part of Islam before, cant be part of Islam today. So there is no place for "reformation" of our faith.

When the companions agreed about something ( had ijma on issues) , it became pure for us. We follow their verdict without questioning. Because they had the most authentic knowledge. And their action was based on that pure knowledge.

 

 

 

 

MRDF Family retreat 2015

Bismillah

 

Last year, we went to the Eden family retreat organised by Islamic network. We had a blast Alhamdulillah! This year we have been eagerly waiting for another Eden family retreat. But unfortunately they couldn't organize the event this year. I was looking for an alternative. Alhamdulillah heard about MRDF family retreat. I heard from other sisters how good the retreat is so we decided to give it a try. Alhamdulillah we had a great time as a family.

Kids running around the prayer hall
 

The four days spent at University of Leicester was really beautiful. Every single member of the family enjoyed their time and benefited from the retreat. It was truly a retreat for me from my daily mama life Alhamdulillah. No cooking, cleaning, looking after kids! We had breakfast in the morning and then drop our three kids to their activity zone and head to the lecture halls to learn about the greatest generation of the Muslims: the companions i.e sahaba of our beloved Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihe wa sallam. It was very inspiring to learn about the mothers of believers . Shaikh Haitham Al-Haddad ran the seminar about the great women of our ummah. We also learnt about great companions such as Abu Bakr (RA), 'Umar (RA), Salman Al-Farisi (RA), Khalid Bin Walid (RA) Alhamdulillah. As a teenager, I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the great companions. It always boosts our imaan. They are the greatest role models for us. But how many of us really know about them? I hope to learn more about the companions inshAllah and read their stories to our children inshAllah.

 

Through the activities, kids learnt a lot about the companions Alhamdulillah. When we came back, we did the quiz the teachers from MRDF has provided us with. I am really glad that kids did very well. I learnt a lot from them Alhamdulillah. I am so inspired by the retreat that I hope to attend the MRDF Family conference in December at Nottingham inshAllah. I know it is quite pricey but it is definitely worth spending money on inshAllah. For me, holidays should be not only about enjoying beautiful views but also about getting inspired spiritually and intellectually so that we can return to our real world with a strong passion to live life for Him inshaAllah. You can learn more about the conference at Building a fabric of society : Ridding ourselves of social ills

 

Seeking knowledge

Bismillah 

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful

 

Reception: Beetle

Alhamdulillah our youngest one just started full time school. Last 8 years I have been busy raising our three children Alhamdulillah. There was a phase when I was changing three nappies! I realized toilet training is not my cup of tea. I really enjoyed breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing, playing (most of the time outdoor) and story telling. Can't believe how quickly they have grown up mashAllah! Now when I drop them at the school, the youngest one says not to accompany him to his class. He wants to behave like his older siblings. Moments like this makes me wonder whether I will be needed by them in future. I am sure as parents we will always be cherished inshAllah but the extent of dependency on us will definitely get less and less. We may need them more as we grow old. I tell them we will be the babies and they may need to look after us as parents. Circle of life :-)

 

Now that all the kids are at school, I can concentrate on my study inshAllah. I thought this day will never come! Subhanallah time flies! While at university, I started taking my faith seriously. I started practising with conviction alhamdulillah. We had a good library at the prayer room. As I am an avid reader, that was a great opportunity to delve into the religious books Alhamdulillah. I used to rush from the lectures and seminars to be there at the prayer room with my beloved sisters who helped me so much to understand our faith properly Alhamdulillah. One of the sisters taught me how to read the Qur'an with proper tajweed. There was a point in my life where I thought I wish I can just devote my whole time to seek knowledge for His Sake. But  as a social being, I got carried away and spent most of my time at work. Then got married and a new phase started...motherhood. It is definitely a very challenging job. 24/7 with no breaks! I still tried my best to attend the circles of knowledge i.e halaqa but I used to get frustrated if kids made noise. I love going to the masajid. But I found it very difficult to go to the mosque with kids. I want our children to have a positive attachment to the house of Allah but I found majority of the masajid not very family friendly.

 

Now that, our kids are at school, I hope to seek knowledge properly and spread the knowledge through writing and socialising inshAllah. I am really blessed to be able to attend the circles of knowledge on a weekly basis Alhamdulillah. These places are regarded as the gardens (of Jannah) on earth. Our beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alaihe wa sallam said, “If you pass by the Gardens of Paradise, then dwell therein.” When asked what the gardens of paradise are, he replied, “The circles of remembrance.”
As Muslim community, we have a long way to go inshAllah. Most of us don't really understand our faith properly because the knowledge wasn't that available to us before. Alhamdulillah people are getting more aware of their faith thanks to the dedicated teachers and shuyukh in the community. Internet is also a huge blessing for us Alhamdulillah. I have learnt a lot through the social media and YouTube and Bayyinah TV. I hope I will be able to devote more time in seeking knowledge inshAllah. And seeking knowledge should be only for His Pleasure. The more we know about Him, the more we will love Him and worship Him. Please do keep us in your precious dua.

O Allah, I ask You for knowledge that is of benefit, a good provision and deeds that will be accepted.

O Allah, make the Qur'an the spring of my heart and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.

Eden family retreat 2014

Eden family retreat at Birmingham

Alhamdulillah we have had an amazing family retreat at Eden, in Birmingham. It was from 22nd to 25th of August 2014. The event was packed with lots of lectures and activities. For lot of people traffic was bad on Friday. We left after jumuah at 2:30 and we reached there at Aston university at 5:30. We used the satnav on my phone which has the option to use routes with lesser traffic alhamdulillah. It took us 3 hours to get to our destination from London alhamdulillah. When we reached there, checking in was quite quick alhamdulillah

We booked one big room but they gave us two rooms for health and safety reason. The restaurant had various halal food alhamdulillah. We had to book the activities. I booked archery and swimming sessions. Unfortunately lot of brothers couldn't book for the swimming session. Kids had activities through out the day. We had to drop them off after breakfast and collect them at 12 for lunch and drop them off again after lunch and collect them for dinner at 6. Alhamdulillah this arrangement made it possible for us to attend the lectures and workshops without the hassle of looking after kids. It was like proper "me time" alhamdulillah. I thoroughly enjoyed the lectures. Sister Fatima Barkatullah talked about Islam and feminism (whether we Muslims need feminism), sheikh Abu Bilal talked about the importance , sheikh Abdul Bary Yahya talked about the importance of dua and qiyam at night. I attended parenting workshop and surah Fatiha workshop. Tried to attend marriage workshop but it was too crowded and couldn't really concentrate. Sheikh Aa'la did great lectures mashAllah. There were panel discussion on unity among Muslims and oppression. There were funny chai chat after Maghrib Salah. I enjoyed a night out in the prayer marquee with friends till 2 am alhamdulillah. We sisters rarely get a chance to chill out with our girl friends. So it was my opportunity to spend some time with friends. There were couple of stalls near the reception such as Little Explorer magazine, Al-Kauthar, National Zakat Foundation, Charity Right, IEat, imam hijab etc. I wish they had more stalls and tuck shops for snacks and drinks. 

Alhamdulillah it was a great family treat for us. We have really enjoyed every single day of the treat. Time passed so quickly! We were quite sad at the last day of the retreat. Kids were missing their daylong sessions. Alhamdulillah we have learnt a lot too. It was a great Iman boosting event. We are looking forward to future Eden events insha Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala accept their efforts and make the event full of Baraka for Muslims in the UK. Ameen!

Short but continuous deeds

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah dear readers,

It has been ages since I last blogged. Time flies! One of the signs of the last days before the Day of Judgement is the passing of time so quickly! May Allah subahanahu wa ta'ala enable us to do our best with our limited time on this earth. May He subhanahu wa ta'ala put baraka in our time, ameen. One of the way to get baraka i.e blessing in our time is to do our morning and evening adhkar on a daily basis, my ustadha says. Also waking up half an hour or one hour before others can make a huge difference. It can be our "me" time before the hectic day starts. 

This year things are a bit different for me. Alhamdulillah I have started driving on a daily basis.It took me three years of countless lessons, 2 theory tests, 5 practical tests to get to this stage alhamdulillah! Childcare was an issue as we had three kids under 6 during that time. Alhamdulillah my better half has been looking after the kids. He has been a great support alhamdulillah. I had to take lesson with my great instructor lady around 6/7 in the morning. I have learnt a lot from her. She is a very active lady, not just a driving instructor but a dental nurse, blind/curtain maker and last but not the least, a marathon runner! She goes to gym everyday at 6! And she is also a vegan! One of my goals I hope to achieve one day insha Allah! I feel blessed to have her as my instructor alhamdulillah. Having a good instructor is very crucial otherwise we can just literally waste our time , money and efforts. My first instructor who looked like a practicing Muslim lady almost crushed my confidence. She forced me to have my theory test when I wasn't even prepared. Her teaching technique was so rigid that I started fearing driving lessons thinking I must be just rubbish at driving. So it is very important to choose the right person to teach driving who you can trust wholeheartedly and someone who believes that you can do it. 

Trust me, if I can drive, you can too! Insha Allah with perseverance and lots of dua anything is possible. There are so many times I felt like giving up but I kept on trying. This is a great skill to have as a mum alhamdulillah. I am a very active mum and take my kids to lot of outdoor activities alhamdulillah. We walk a lot but some places are not really walking distance. Even using public transport can be a hassle to get to forests and places like that with three kids and a pushchair. 

Alhamdulillah this year for the first time I have managed to take our three kids to Hainault country park in the holiday with group of close friends. I felt very accomplished alhamdulillah. The feeling of being able to create beautiful memories with kids and the car :-) is just priceless alhamdulillah. I enjoy driving alhamdulillah. But I wish I can drive faster which is impossible in London. I hate meet and cross. Anyway, I am so grateful to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for enabling me to drive alhamdulillah. Now I hope I don't cause any serious problem on the road for us and others insha Allah. I am learning the duas for travel. Everyday 5/6 minutes before I start driving, I am doing my duas to be a safe driver. It is a huge responsibility. I see so many people who are not aware of the basic rules on the road. Then I wonder how many rules I am not aware of or not following ! May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala save me from causing any harm to us and others, ameen!

Having said that, driving does make me feel lazy and quite unfit as it restricts exercise time for me. I used to walk a lot. That's why I only drive to certain places as I do want to have the much needed practice. I am still trying to walk to lot of places almost every single day as it keeps me fit. My next target is running for half an hour every other day insha Allah at my local park . I need a partner who can motivate me to carry on insha Allah. 

I used to fast Mondays and Thursdays. But got lazy (as usual) and finding it very hard to fast twice a week. I have recently learnt that our nafs i.e soul/ego is like an Arabian horse. If it is given a choice, it tends to run left and right instead of going straight. When we want to perform any act of worship, our soul suggests us to do the hardest acts to punish us. When we force ourselves to do the hardest acts we eventually give up the act. This is exactly what our ego/soul wants us to do. 

But, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wants us to be moderate in our worship. He loves the small but regular acts of worship. When we do deeds on a regular basis just to please Him and show how much we love Him, it becomes a habit. Our soul gets a gradual training and it becomes easy to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Alhamdulillah I am glad that I have realized this truth now. To train my beastly soul, I have started fasting only three days a month alhamdulillah. I can feel that it is lot more manageable alhamdulillah. 

As Muslims, we are suppose to perform deeds only recommended by the Qur'an and the Sunnah. So I needed some evidence. There are plenty of ahadith about fasting. I have found couple of ahadith which I love to refer back to on a monthly basis to motivate myself to fast three days. I hope these ahadith helps you too insha Allah. 

Abu Hurairah (RadiAllahu anhu) reported: My friend (the Messenger of Allah) sallallahu alaihi wa sallam directed me to observe fast for three days in every month, to perform two Rak'ah (optional) Duha prayer at forenoon and to perform the Witr prayer before going to bed. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Abud-Darda reported : My friend (the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) directed me to observe Saum (fasting) for three days in every month, to perform two rak'ah (optional) Duha prayer at forenoon and to perform the Witr prayer before going to bed. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-As reported: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, " Observing Saum (fasting) on three days of every month is equivalent to a full month's fasting."[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Mu'adhah Al-'Adawiyah radiAllahu anhu reported: I asked 'Aishah radiAllahu anhu "Did the Messenger of Allah, sallallu alaihi wa sallam, used to observe three days of Saum in every month? She replied, "Yes." I asked, "On which days in the month did he observed fast?" She replied that he did not mind on which days of the month he observed fast. [Muslim] In the commentary of this particular hadith, Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf wrote that this hadith makes it clear that one can observe Saum on any three days of the month and it is not necessary to fix these days. However, it is more meritorious to observe Saum on 13th, 14th and 15th of each lunar month because the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam has so ordained it. He himself also used to take special care of these dates and observe Saum on them, as is evident from the forthcoming Ahadith.

Abu Dharr (RadiAllahu anhu) narrated that the Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said, " If you want to observe saum on three days in a month, then fast on the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth of the lunar month." [At-Tirmidhi]

Qatadah bin Milhaan radiAllahu Anhu reported: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam directed us to observe Saum on the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth of the lunar month. {Abu Dawud]

Ibn 'Abbas reported: It was the practice of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam to not to omit fast on 'bright days' whether he was staying at a place or on a journey.[An-Nasa'i]

In the commentary of this hadith, Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf wrote, "Beed" is the plural of Abyad which means white. Three days of 13,14 and 15 of lunar month are called "Al-Ayyam-ul-Beed" for the reason that their nights are bright because of the moonlight. The moon begins to diminish gradually after these days. 

I have collected these ahadith from Riyah-us-Saliheen Volume two Chapter 230 titled The desirability of observing three days of fasting in every month page 952-954.

My Ustdaha and several shuyukh I follow have strongly recommended Imam An-Nawawi's excellent book Riyad-us-Saliheen which comes in two volumes. This book is meant to be for people who are not scholars but seekers of knowledge who want to learn the faith to practice Islam properly. Hadith collections such as Al-Bukhari is meant to be for scholars. So please do buy the Riyad-us-Saliheen and make it a habit to read and reflect on a regular basis in sha Allah.

Ramadan is due in 87/88 days insha Allah. So this habit of fasting three days a month can also help the body and mind to get into Ramadan mode in shaa Allah. Let us make the intention to fast three days a month to prepare for the great month of Ramadan just like our predecessors , the Companions of the beloved Rasulullah, who used to start preparing for Ramadan six months ahead of the sacred month! I hope this post is beneficial insha Allah. May Allah subhanahua wa ta'ala forgive our shortcomings and give us the tayseer and tawfique to perform acts on a regular basis to show how much we love Him and want to be close to Him, ameen! 

The end of another year...Hijri 1435

Bismillah In the name of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, the Most Merciful, the Most Loving

Assalamu alaikum dear readers, 

I hope you are doing great, busy with family, friends. Alhamdulillah this year has been quite a busy one for us. Can't believe how quickly time flies subhanallah! It feels like just the other day we started the new year. Now in couple of days,  Hijri 1435 will leave us forever. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put baraka in our time! So what did we achieve this year? Have we had good time with family and friends for His sake? Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala blessed us with so much, have we thanked Him enough? Have we utilised His numerous blessings to please Him, to show our Love for Him, only Him? Alhamdulillah we have witnessed another amazing Ramadan and more recently the Ten great days of Dhul Hijjah. So many of us have left this world this year and here we are, the blessed ones, who are still given another chance to return to Him, alhamdulillah. During these last couple of days before the new year 1436 starts, let us reflect on our life, on Him and on our Relation with Him. Let us repent for all the wrong deeds we did intentionally and unintentionally. Let us ask Him to accept our good deeds and purify our intentions so that we do every single deed, no matter how mundane it may seem, to please Him. We don't know which deed of us can earn us His Mercy and Ridwaan i.e Pleasure. So we should never under-estimate any deeds. 

Alhamdulillah so many wonderful memories we created with His blessing during this year...

Kids have learnt how to do wadu, wash themselves for prayer. They have learnt some chapters of the Qur'an alhamdulillah. They attended Saturday classes to learn Arabic and Islamic studies. They were learning some good stuff mashallah but the center keep changing the teachers which was quite sad. We took them out as they were not happy there. It is very important for me to see them enjoying their learning adventure. For couple of months I had to teach them but the pace was very slow. This year I realized it is very difficult to be the mum and the teacher at the same time. I needed a proper structure which I am not very good at. If I am in good mood, I can manage to get lot of work done alhamdulillah. But if I am feeling down, it is very hard to get even a single task done properly. It took time to come to this realization. As I was teacher myself, I always thought I will teach my kids myself. 

Every child is different and react in different ways. We may plan ahead and have all the dreams mapped out in front of us. But our children may not like our plans. Plans done with best of intention can still produce no result as every child is different. I have been a passionate believer of home-schooling. I have been home-schooled ( free range learning, I believe) for first ten years of my life alhamdulillah. I had an amazing childhood in Iran, in the city of Garamsar near Tehran, interestingly the home-town of former president of Iran Mr.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. 

I grew up playing, socializing, spending long ours outside of the home, most of the time with children 
of different nationalities. As a child I felt life was great alhamdulillah, being so close to 
nature. I started school around the age of 11. And I hated it. It was a big change for me. 
I never loved formal learning.

I believe in independent learning. As soon as teachers talked about exam, I used to get annoyed. I hated 
exams. I was an avid reader and I am still an avid reader. I like to read my own choice of books. I did 
managed to complete all the formal education i.e GSCE, A levels, University. But I never lose sight of 
my passion. I wanted to read a lot and write passionately about the things that mattered to me. 
School was more interested in getting us higher grades and that's all. So for me, education at a formal 
setting was always a boring place to be. I thought our children will feel the same but life is full of surprises.
Alhamdulillah it has been just more than an year that two of our kids have started full time schooling. 

First couple of months was quite hard for me. They have been enjoying their school from the beginning. But I was suffering from guilt, guilt of not able to home educate them. But seeing how happy they are and how much they are learning, I had to rethink my approach to educating our children. May be it is too early to make up my mind yet. Let us see how it goes this year. I hope in sha Allah our kids will be looked after by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and will be guided to the right path, ameen.