Ramadan as a mother

Alhamdulillah I was able to attend a lecture on the first day of Ramadan in East Ham. I love the ustadha (teacher) very much as she is very sincere and dedicated in dawah and that is why I try to attend her circle every week. May Allah (swt) reward her for sharing her knowledge with the ummah. There are quite a lot of things that I have learned through attending this particular one that insha-Allah, I hope to share with you all through this post.

At the beginning we had to go through a short brainstorming session to jot down some of the things we may find difficult as mothers during Ramadan. Not surprisingly, tiredness, lack of concentration, not being able to perform tarawih in the mosque, and the ‘what to cook’ dilemma were the frequent ones. One of the most common complaints was the feeling of not being able to do a lot during this great month.

Mashallah in response, the sister tried to explain our role as mothers and how we should tackle the issues. As mothers we are responsible for taking care of our children and husband. We are in charge of our family and they are dependant on us. We are doing khidma (service) to them! Allah (swt) has allocated us to do this great job. Our beloved Prophet (saw) has taught us that the best of us are the ones who take care of others. If we try to solve someone’s problem, Allah (swt) will relive us from our difficulties on the day of judgement. We need to change our perspective as mothers. We need to realize that our family is a blessing to us and through them we can earn Allah (swt)’s pleasure. We as mothers are not going to be asked whether we have completed the recitation of the Qur’an during this month but we will be asked how we treated our family.

Like us, women of Rasulullah (saw)’s age, once complained about their life and were told that all the work men do (e.g. performing prayer at the mosque, attending his sermons, participating in jihad) equals to the work Muslim women do at home! Subhanallah! Allah (swt) is rewarding us so much for what we are doing for our family. We are the Mujahida struggling to raise the future ummah, Insha-Allah!

However, it does not mean that we should not try to do other acts of worship during this month. We need to balance our life. Some of the tips the sister came up with are:

Preparation, preparation and preparation:
During the time of our beloved Prophet (saw), the companions used to prepare for Ramadan six months ahead. So preparation is very crucial to get the best out of Ramadan. Rasulullah (saw) used to increase his effort before Ramadan. We have to remember that we are supposed to increase our deeds during Ramadan, not just starting our acts of worship. Ramadan should be truly a month of increasing our effort to please Allah (swt)! Unfortunately, a lot of us tend to just start some deeds and stop it on Eid! May Allah (swt) save us from this sort of mentality and may he (swt) keep us motivated throughout our life and carry on doing good deeds. Allah (swt) loves the deeds which are small but frequent.

We need to gradually build up our ability to worship Allah (swt), so that by the end of Ramadan we can do more to get the benefit of last ten nights Insha-Allah. Nobody would like to miss the night of power, which is a night equal to almost 83 years! Rasulullah (saw) has rarely cursed anyone, but he did curse those Muslims who get the opportunity of having Ramadan but not benefiting from it in order to seek Allah (swt)’s forgiveness!

Meal planner: In terms of meal preparation, it’s better to have a meal planer so that we can plan our shopping list and cooking time accordingly. One of the sisters told us that it’s better to have a ten day meal planner as it makes life much easier and gives us peace of mind. It also saves us from wasting our precious pre-iftar time when our duas (supplication) are more likely to get accepted. Unfortunately during this time, sisters are more likely to be stuck in the kitchen preparing a feast! This month is supposed to be a month of moderation in everything. However, our eating habits portray the complete opposite. We as families need to evaluate this situation and change our eating habits. Unfortunately instead of losing weight as people might think you would do whilst fasting, we Muslims tend to gain weight! Our prophetic tradition teaches us to break our fast with simple food i.e. dates, milk, water, soup with meat and wheat, fruits and vegetables. For our own sake, we need to change our saturated fat and salt & sugar rich diets insha-Allah, as it will help us to do all the acts of worship easily insha-Allah.

Concentration (khushoo) in prayer:
In terms of creating concentration in prayer, the sister told us that the scholars have advised us to approach ablution (wudu) with khushoo. We need to keep in mind who we are standing before! As mothers we have to plan before prayer (salah) in terms of what our children may need, and how they can be kept occupied so that we can do our salah with full concentration. Children need to be taught to respect the prayer time. Personally, I have found giving them their own tiny prayer mat helps a lot as they feel involved in the salah. We also need to try standing in front of our Rabb with gratitude. Just imagine the many blessings He has (swt) bestowed on us! You really cannot count them all! Subhanallah!

Having the right intention:
Through having the pure intention of just to please Allah (swt), we can turn even the simplest acts into acts of worship. Everything we do can become a way to get closer to Allah (swt) if we have the right intention with the purer the intention, the higher the reward! For example, no matter how boring household chores may feel, we can remember the greater purpose behind why we are doing it them and we can turn them into ibadah. We are wives and mothers because Allah (swt) wants us to be. Our children are amanah (trust) to us. Through helping them we can help ourselves to gain Taqwa. According to Muslim scholars, Taqwa means to obey Allah (swt) hoping for His reward and mercy and avoiding sins hoping to be saved from His punishment. Allah (swt) has told us in the Qur’an that He ordered us to fast during Ramadan so that we can gain Taqwa. We need to make sure that we have Taqwa in every moment of our life insha-Allah.

In terms of difficulties in attending Tarawih as mothers, we can share our time with other mothers, offering to look after each others’ children in turn so that we all can get chance to pray Tarawih in jama’ah (congregation). From my own experience as the mother of two babies, I find it much more comfortable praying at home after 10:30 while my children are sleeping peacefully.

May Allah (swt) enable us to do our best in this holy month and grant us His pleasure and jannatul firdous, ameen.

In loving memory of my uncle

Our beloved uncle died last year (2008) shortly after Ramadan. He was in a state of fasting as it was the holy month of Sha’wal. When I got the news of this terrible loss, I felt very sad as he was one of the uncles who left a firm and lasting impression in my heart with his special personality. He had a very kind heart that loved everyone sincerely and used to trust everyone.
He was a devout Muslim who tried to practise this beautiful faith in every way possible. In this day and age, being a practising Muslim is very difficult and looked down upon. Despite all the difficulties he had to go through, he never showed any lack of enthusiasm in sincerely following his Deen. He was a man of principle.

Alhamdulillah we came to know uncle and his family while we were growing up in Iran. Our families used to socialise a lot together and there are plenty of wonderful memories I still cherish from my childhood, thanks to Allah subhana wa tawala. As far as I can remember, uncle was always very involved in raising his children with aunty. Unfortunately, most of the times mothers have to take sole responsibility of raising the children while fathers remain detached from this great responsibility. However, as a devout Muslim, uncle was always involved in bringing up their children with patience and integrity. I still remember how much effort and patience he used to have in feeding his beloved eldest son. He was also very active in raising his two wonderful daughters in an Islamic way. As a husband he was very caring and helpful to aunty. Even as an uncle to us he was very friendly as well as very approachable. He used to make us laugh by doing things in a funny way. We used to love being around him. During Eid, as Bangladeshi families in Iran, we used to organise Eid parties which us children used to look forward to these special events. Once just before Eid ul Adha, uncle took us to buy couple of sheep for Eid slaughtering. I still remember how hard it was to get hold of any sheep. Uncle and my father were constantly chasing the herd of sheep to get hold of one of them. When I try to visualize that moment, it always makes me smile. Sometimes in their house, uncle used to organise small events to inspire us to learn more about Islam. We used to recite the small surahs from the Qur’an. In the end, every one of us used to get lovely presents from uncle. At that time, as children we just felt happy without really realising that our beloved uncle was teaching us our faith through his unique way. Thanks to Allah subhana wa tawala, we are lucky to have such a wonderful childhood due to people like MohammadUllah uncle and other likeminded people around us who tried their best through their own life to teach us our beautiful religion. For me, uncle had a unique quality to engage children in Islamic activities without making the whole process boring, Mashallah. We need personalities like him who would provide us with a good example, who would not just preach but follow the faith in their own life too. That’s why we can see, Alhamdulillah uncle with aunty’s help has brought up their four children with a sense of Islamic values and ethos. They have grown up in an environment where they love and cherish their faith and try to practice it on a daily basis. For any parent this is a remarkable achievement. Our faith teaches us to respect our parents and pray for them when they go back to their Lord Allah subhana wa tawala. Only few things benefit a deceased and one of them is to leave behind pious offspring who would pray for their parents and continue to perform good deeds for them. I hope and pray that uncle’s sons and daughters do their best in this respect with aunty’s help, insha-Allah. I hope all of the children will live up to their beloved father’s expectations. May Allah subhana wa tawala grant our beloved uncle jannatul ferdous and protect his family and help them to lead a good prosperous life, ameen. May Allah swt grant every one of us the ability to lead a righteous life and have a good ending, ameen.

Uncle’s death reminds us again and again how short and uncertain our life is. However, the bitter fact is we tend to forget the reality of death. We are so obsessed with our day to day life that we forget to prepare for our life in hereafter which will surely never end. I would like to conclude with the wise saying of Ammar bin Yasir RAW: “Death is enough as a reminder, certainty is enough as wealth and performing acts of worship is sufficient as a job.”

My pregnancy

Alhamdulillah I am pregnant for the second time. My son is 13 months old now and recently started walking mashallah. Insha-Allah I am looking forward to have another tiny angel after couple of months. I always wanted to be a mother and am so glad that Allah swt has granted me my wishes so quickly. The feeling is overwhelming. There is nothing in the world which can give that much pleasure, subhanallah. I am very grateful to Allah SWT. There is a supplication ( dua) taught by our beloved prophet Muhammad SAW which I like to recite as much as possible to thank Allah for all the blessing in my life. The supplication is really beautiful that’s why I would like to share this wonderful supplication with you all:

“Subhanallah wa bihamdihi ‘adada khalqihi wa rida’ nafsihi wa zinata ‘arshihi wa midada kalimatihi” which means “Glorified be Allah and praise is due to Him to the extent of the number of His creation and to the extent of His pleasure and to the extent of the weight of His Throne and to the extent of ink used in recording words for His Praise.”

However, life during pregnancy can be quite difficult too. Recently I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. It’s a form of diabetes which occurs during pregnancy and usually disappears after the birth. People who suffer from gestational diabetes are more likely to develop type 2 diabetes within five to 10 years. Sometimes diet is enough to control the blood sugar level but for some people they may need to take medication or insulin to control their blood sugar. Alhamdulillah up until now I am managing my blood sugar level just through the diet. With my first pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and after couple of weeks I came to know that I am also suffering from high blood pressures which lead to pre-eclamsia. I was induced at 34 weeks and Alhamdulillah was able to deliver my baby boy normally within couple of hours. Although the timing was quite early, he was healthy and didn’t have any problem Alhamdulillah. I believe babies are miracles. Allah SWT provides for them with lots of strength to survive in this world. As a first time mother, I was very scared and confused. I had a constant fear and doubt about whether I will be able to bring him up properly and whether I was doing the right thing at the right time. But Alhamdulillah things went well and mashallah he is a happy and healthy toddler now.

Although through out my pregnancy I had to go through different sorts of complications, I still believe I am very lucky Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT likes to give us test to see how we react to difficult situation. But one thing I have learned from my life is no matter how terrible things may seem, by the grace of Allah SWT problems eventually get sorted out. I feel closer to Allah SWT when I am in pain and sorrow. The feeling of being totally dependant on Allah swt but none else is really wonderful one. We are created by Him and we are always in need of His help. I have never felt disappointed after making a sincere prayer to my Lord. The more the difficulties the more the rewards are allocated for us. That’s how we are supposed to see our life.

While going through the difficult phase of pregnancy, I have tried to gain as much knowledge as possible from the Quran and the Sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad saw about pregnancy and motherhood and of course there is no end to learning. However, whatever I have managed to learn I would like to share with my sisters as it will definitely help us all to accept all the difficulties with ease. Knowledge gives us the firm conviction we need to worship Allah swt with love and sincerity.

In the Qur’an the word used for womb is Rahim, which comes from the same root as Raheem (Merciful). Moreover, a pregnant woman is literally referred to as one with a burden, dhat haml.

And for those who have a burden (pregnant) their term is when they bring forth their burden. 65:4

If they have a burden (pregnant) then spend on them until they bring forth their burden. 65:6

Although pregnancy is a beautiful feeling and state of being, it also has lots of complications attached to it. This is also a time of frequent urination, backache, leg cramps, bleeding gums, hair loss, and hormonal overloads, kicking from the inside out, tender breasts, groin pain, and of course plenty of everyday complaints. Moreover, pregnancy is also a risk to the health of the mother, ranging from high blood pleasure, low blood pressure, gestational diabetes, forms of cancer, potential blood clotting problems and a slew of other real medical dangers. So, pregnancy itself is a burden for the woman, not to mention the burdens of delivery.

However, Allah SWT is very merciful to us. Whatever pain we go through in life, if we are patient enough to accept it without questioning our faith, then Allah SWT will reward us. It’s same with pregnancy. Here are some virtues of being pregnant:

It is mentioned that Rasulullah saw said: "Does it not please you (O Women!) that when you conceive from your husbands while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah and spending the night in ibaadat. When her labour pains commence the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child, she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salaama! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, and delicately natured but yet are obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them."

Rasulullah saw also said: "A woman from her pregnancy till the time of weaning her child is like one protecting the boundaries of the Islamic state. If she passes away during this period she attains the reward of martyrdom." So being pregnant is like being a mujahidah i.e. someone struggling in the path of Allah SWT to gain His pleasure. That’s why it is mentioned in one of the hadith that the woman who dies of labour pains is regarded as a martyr (shaheedah).Subhanallah what else we can ask for! We are already aware of the excellence of jihad in Islam and as women we are given the exclusive opportunity to engage in such a special form of jihad ! All praise belongs to Allah !

Through out pregnancy, it is recommended to ask Allah SWT as much as possible. In terms of what to read during pregnancy, the following supplications I have gathered from different source especially the Quran and the Sunnah:

Rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata a’yuniw waj’alna lil muttaqina imama.

Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You. (25:74)



Rabbi habli mil ladunka dhurriyatan tayyiba. Innaka sami’ud dua.

O my Lord! Grant me from You a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation. (3:38)

There is also a very beautiful dua from surah Ah-qaf (46:15) . I am just giving the meaning of the verses:

My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that i may be grateful for Your favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and that I may do righteous good deeds such as please You and make my offspring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance and I am one of the Muslims.



Hasbunallaahu wa ni'imal wakeel

Allah suffices us and He is the best guardian.

Also it is mentioned that Fatima (radiyallahu anha) reports that when it was time for her to deliver her child, "Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) sent Umme Salma (radiyallahu anha) and Zainab (radiyallahu anha) to me with the instruction that they read Aayatul Kursi, surah Al-Falaq and An-naas and the following verse for easy delivery:

"Inna rabbakumullaahul ladhiy khalaqas samaawaati wal ardha fiy sittati ayyaamin thumma-stawaa alal arsh, yughshiyl llaylan nahaara wa yatlubuhoo hatheethan was shamsa wal qamara wan nujooma musakh-kharaatim bi amrihi. Alaa lahul khalqu wal amru, tabaaraka llaahu rabbul aalameen. Ud'oo rabbakum tadharru'an wa khufyatan, innahoo laa yuhibbul mu'tadeen." Surah Al-A'raf (7:54-55)

Indeed your Lord is Allah, Who created the heavens and the earth in six days and He rose over the Throne (really in a manner that suits His Majesty). He brings the night as a cover over the day, seeking it rapidly and (He created) the sun, the moon, the stars subjected to His Command. Surely, His is the Creation and Commandment. Blessed is Allah, the Lord of the A’lamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists) Invoke your Lord with humility and in secret. He likes not the aggressors.



May Allah SWT give us the strength and patience to go through the different phases of pregnancy and Insha-Allah grant us healthy and pious offspring and reward us for our struggle, ameen.

Education in Islam

Most of the times when we think about education, by default the western concept of education come to our mind which lacks the essential knowledge of faith i.e. the existence of Allah as our Lord and His sole right to be worshipped wholeheartedly by all human beings. Education for majority of this world means secular education which tends to give more emphasis on job-oriented goals. Unfortunately we Muslims are also getting deceived by this sort of education and starting to believe that the only way to success is to get secular education.

Sometimes parents do not have any intention to bring up their children in proper Islamic way. Instead, the secular education becomes the only priority. However, I do believe that secular education is necessary in order to succeed in this world but there should be more priority given to become the true vicegerent (khalifa) of Allah on this earth. In fact, this concept of secular education is alien to Islam.

Islam is a way of life not just a mere religion. Education entails everything that brings you closer to Allah SWT. For example, being a doctor makes you have more knowledge about Allah SWT’s magnificent and sophisticated creations as well as serving His creation to the best. Through this profession, you tend to be more able to worship Allah with proper understanding. That is just an example of one profession. There are plenty of other noble profession, through which we can manifest our devoutness and love for our Creator Allah SWT.

In Islam, education is comprehensive and we do not need to separate this system into secular and divine. Its in fact during the renaissance period of Europe , the so called intelligent people came up with idea of separating religion from every aspect of public life , thus religion was forced to be confined in private arena and science and technology become godless arena. We can see the devastating effect of that in our modern life. We as the super intelligent beings of twenty first century have managed to kill more innocent people in more sophisticated ways than ever before!

Even in Muslim world, the effect of renaissance was corrupting the empty minds of so-called Muslims. When Muslims are not practising their deen properly, they get deviated quite easily by Satan and his agents. Thus, the history of colonialism and imperialism gives us the vivid picture of polluting and corrupting the Muslim mind with secular ideas. Unfortunately during that period majority of Muslims also fell into trap of ‘divide and rule’ policy and ended up having two groups in a same society: one educated in western tradition and enjoying the fruits of prosperity and the other ended up with so called religious education and trapped in limited field of religious institutions which were disappearing quite rapidly. You can see the example of this in every country. Thus, you can notice around Muslim world traditionally the intelligent kid is sent to become a doctor or an engineer and the ‘dumb’ one is sent to madrasa ( religious institution) to become a ‘alim’(Alim is one who has attended a reliable institution and received sound knowledge of the Qur’an, Sunnah, Fiqh and Arabic from qualified tutors) . Sadly we tend to underestimate the importance of religious education. Societies as a whole don’t view religious education as something cool and trendy. I can’t blame them that much as I personally would not send my children to madrasa as the track record of them are unfortunately not that good either. I believe Islam promotes very strongly to be smart and best in both worlds. Even in the Qur’an Allah SWT has taught us a prayer where we can ask for the best of both worlds.

Let us as Muslim mothers, educate our self with the best of both and teach our children to be balanced in their perspective. If we as mother do our job properly, Insha-Allah our sons and daughters will carry the real message of Islam which will free this world from all the false and dangerous ideas, Insha-Allah. May Allah SWT guide us towards the right path.

The crisis of modernity and the role of the Muslim women

Society has witnessed a lot of change in last couple of decades. Men's roles and responsibilities, hopes and aspirations have changed through out this period. As a result, gender roles have acquired new meanings. Education has played a very vital role in empowering women and their social status. Majority of women are more likely to be found in workplace than ever before. The way women in modern days perceive their life varies from the traditional way. Now a days, in our society a so-called 'successful woman' is the one who seems to have it all i.e. good look, good education, at least a graduate degree, a good well-paid job as well as a nice family , most probably with one or two children.

Apart from some exceptional 'superwomen', it is almost impossible for most of the women to cope with so many responsibilities in such a limited time and maintain a 'successful' reputation. That’s why the tale of 'superwoman' seems a myth to a lot extent. The pressure and expectation created by the modern society causes lot of stress for women. It has left most of the women with double burden of private and public life.

If we go back to the rise of feminism in 1960s through out most of the western nations, the movement was triggered by western women becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way they have been treated. The inequality in almost every sphere of life made them rebel against the society. To a lot extent, strict patriarchal values played a major role in oppressing women. Unfortunately, though Islam views men and women as equal partners in society who complements each other, the Muslim societies around the world treated women more or less in a same way as their western counterparts.

The majority of Muslim societies are to a large extent influenced by the West through its brutal legacy of colonialism and imperialism. As a result Muslim women in modern times have also witnessed lot of change in their lives. The rise of modernity has enabled women to have some luxuries in their life such as the right to have liberty, equality, education and so on. However, we as Muslims cannot view the whole concept of modernity as something very positive for us to follow. We need to scrutinize the nitty gritty of what it really means to be modern.

Modern world is getting increasingly secular in its nature. The complete absence of Devine entity in our public life is what the ultimate goal of a modern life is. Religion has to a lot extent been forced to the private arena and the major institutions are left secular in their vision and course of action. Modernity promotes the idea of individualism, instant gratification, the preference of wealth and fame over ethics and morality. No doubt the rise of modern society has given birth to negative understanding of life and the expectations of men.

For modern Muslim woman Islam is not just a mere religion rather she perceives Islam as a way of life which is termed as Deen in Arabic. A modern Muslim woman tries to maintain a balance between her public and private life. Whatever has been prescribed to us by our Lord Allah SWT to follow in order to remain as practising muslimahs, we try to follow that to our best of abilities. The way the modern society wants us to perceive and plan our life is not compatible to what our Lord wants from us.

Unfortunately Islam as a religion has been portrayed as very rigid and oppressive to women due to ignorance and cultural practise of majority of Muslims around the world. Sadly local culture which to a great extent is not approved by Islam and its teaching, has been dominating Muslim mind over the years and as a result our beautiful and universal Deen, Islam has been unfairly judged through the action of so-called Muslims who lack proper knowledge of the Quran and the Sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad SAW.

We as Muslim women have lots of things to do to create a strong Ummah like our golden age of Islam. First, we need to educate ourselves through in-depth study of the Quran and the Sunnah of our beloved prophet SAW and only through learning and practising sincerely our religion we can empower our women and the whole of the Ummah Insha-Allah. We also need to remember that Allah has entrusted us with a great responsibility of Khalifa which makes us, Muslims and Muslimahs the representative of our Lord on this earth. We have been sent with a noble mission. We have already promised Allah before Him sending us for our great mission on this ephemeral world to worship Only Him and follow Only His guidance wholeheartedly and try to propagate this noble message to everyone as well as creating a world based on justice.

We Muslims women are not weak and powerless because we have Allah as our Lord and Sustainer. He is sufficient for us as a Helper. He is also the best of the planner. So what are we waiting for? O my dear sisters in Islam let us embark on a journey of learning, practising, propagating this wonderful faith of ours and uniting this great Ummah of our beloved prophet Muhammad SAW. Let us help each other to know and worship our Creator with our best of abilities and march to jannah together. May Allah SWT grant us His Mercy and His acceptance of us as His khalifa.

Islam Expo 2008

Alhamdulillah we have been to Islam expo this year which was held from 11th to 14th of July. We have enjoyed our time very much. This was my first trip to expo as a couple and with a baby. That’s why it was a bit different than the first one. I remember I was able to attend most of the lectures and seminars at the first Islam expo which took place in 2006 at Alexander palace. This time as a mother it was a bit difficult to attend the lectures properly. Anyway, I have managed to listen to some of the lectures. Professor Tariq Ramadan who is one of my favourites, was there and as usual has delivered very well-argued talk. May Allah SWT bless him for his great ability to explain critical issues with such simplicity. I really liked his talk on faith in a secular society. According to him, there is certainly space for faith in a secular society. In fact, we Muslims should be the people to propagate the universal values and morals of Islam in this society where ethics are disappearing at a rapid pace never witnessed before. We have to fight individualism and materialism with the true message of love and justice in Islam. Muslims should not be afraid of practising their faith and be confident and proactive in their day to day life as European Muslims. Dr. Jamal Badawi from Canada was there too and talked about how Muslims cannot be Muslims without practising their faith in their public life. In a secular society it is assumed that faith should be confined to private life but for Muslims that’s not possible in any way as Islam is not just a mere religion rather it’s a way of life. It is ridiculous to think Muslim women wearing hijab in their home and not being able to wear it outside of their home!

There was also a debate about whether Muslim women need liberating. I was looking forward to the talk as the panel list was quite interesting. Merve Kavakci, Yvonne Ridley, Salma Yakoob were included but unfortunately sister Salma could not make it. Lot of people in Britain may know about Ynonne and Salma but not familiar with Merve. She is a Turkish politician who was prevented from making her parliamentary oath because of her hijab, being eventually stripped of her Turkish citizenship. She is a hafiz of the Quran and works as a professor at George Washington University. Sister Merve argued that Muslim women do need liberating but it should be from the orientalist assumption of them being oppressed and subordinate to men as well as the local patriarchal culture they are trapped in. Islam as a faith has already liberated women fourteen hundred years ago from the oppression but sadly the culture still undermines their rights as free vicegerent of Allah on this earth. For example, Islam gives women the right to have divorce however, the local culture views divorce as a stigma attached to women and her family. We need to fight for our rights as Muslim women. Sister Yvonne also reiterated the same message and also talked about Muslim feminism. When we talk about Muslim or Islamic feminism, subconsciously the names of dodgy Muslims like Irshad Manji or Amina Wadood comes up who are trying to propagate the message that Islam needs ‘reformation’. However, according to Yvonne, we Muslim women in general do not have any problem with our faith rather it is Islam which gives us our proper rights. Instead we need to combat the negative prejudice the majority in society seem to have about Muslim women. Alhamdulillah there were quite a lot of people especially non-Muslims in the audience. I hope and pray that the debate has been successful in changing peoples’ perspective about women in Islam.

There were quite a lot of seminars held on various topics related to Muslims however it was not possible for me as a mother of a toddler to be there. I would recommend all the sisters who are also mothers to arrange someone to look after their babies while they can enjoy the seminar to its full extent insha-Allah. Now you may think why then I didn’t do that but unfortunately my mother and my mother-in-law both of them are on their holidays in abroad. I strongly prefer to leave my son with one of them as I believe they are the best in this job mashallah.

Anyway, back to the topic Insha-Allah…
There was also an Islamic garden section roughly at the middle of Olympia which provided the visitors with a very calm and relax place to rest and enjoy the beautiful garden. The charity REEP (The Religious Education and Environment Programme) which specialises in education through gardens, have created the Islamic Garden for the exhibition. One of the main features of the garden was the water font. In fact, water is the heart and soul of the traditional Islamic garden providing the single most important unifying element, reflecting the words of the Quran: Jannat tajri min tahtiha al-anhar, ‘gardens underneath which river flow’. They basically divided the garden into four sections and named them according to the trees at the centre of each garden which were apparently the trees mentioned in the Quran: the Olive garden, the Fig garden, the Date garden and the Pomegranate garden. There were brightly coloured scented flowers among various shrubs in all shades of green- green being the colour of Islam. I really enjoyed my time at the garden. Can you imagine how beautiful the garden in jannah (paradise) will be when this man-made one has given us that much pleasure! If you want to know more about the history and different interpretations of the Islamic garden you can go to the site below Insha-Allah:
http://www.reep.org/index.php

At expo, there was organised a series of workshop for both educational groups (from schools) and general visitors across the 4 days. There were workshops on Islamic geometry patters, Islamic calligraphy, Islamic glass painting, North African Drumming, Fabric paining which is sometimes known as Batik, Dabka dancing and so on. The Dabka dancing has caught my eyes as it was different but quite interesting. While I was watching the dance they asked me to join in with my son which was quite amusing I must say! Dabka, also pronounced dabkeh, is a lively dance form practiced around the Middle East, most commonly at weddings and celebrations.

There were arts and crafts zone which tried to show the role of mosque in Islam. There was the Hagia Sophia mosque and its surrounding drawn by a sister named Mariama. Hagia Sophia served as a model for many of the Ottoman mosques such as the Sultan Ahmed Mosque (Blue Mosque of Istanbul), the Şehzade Mosque, the Süleymaniye Mosque, and the Rüstem Pasha Mosque. It brought back my childhood memory of Istanbul. I wish I can go there again and enjoy the beautiful mosques of Turkey especially the Blue mosque facing the Black sea.

There were quite lot of exhibitors at Islam Expo. It was bigger than the previous one as the huge area of Olympia has enabled them to do it in a better way this time. We were able to do lots of shopping especially books. There was an Islamic sticker shop which caught my eyes. Mashallah they have done a very good job. The sister who came up with this great idea, Rahat told me why she has started this business. May Allah SWT bless them and increase their sale. I have been a teacher for couple of years that’s why I am aware of the lack of Islamic resources for children like sticker, reward chart, games, puzzles and so on. So the initiative taken by the sister should be appreciated by everyone. Children especially while they are in primary do like to receive stickers and this technique sometimes does work very well. Even families should try to use them at home to reward children and build up Islamic characteristics insha-Allah. It can also be quite a good gift for children at special occasions. You can have a look at their website and feel free to make up your mind:
http://www.muslimstickers.com/


Couple of Muslim newspapers and magazines had their stall at the expo such as The Muslim weekly, Emel, Al-Jumuah, the Revival etc. The last two magazines I have been trying to read on a regular basis. They are quite good mashallah. The Revival magazine which is also available on-line is catering for youth in general and tries to cover the social as well as spiritual challenges facing Muslim communities across the UK.
http://www.therevival.co.uk/

There was a fashion zone for sisters where the organisers tried to highlight the new Islamic trends for women that are fashionable yet conservative, with the view that traditional Islamic dress does not have to mean old fashion and bland. It also tried to show the diversity and unique styles which bridge western concept with Eastern values. It was sponsored by SISTERS magazine. Some of the well-known Islamic clothing companies such as Shukr, Silk Route, Arabian Nites, Imaan Collections, The Aab have participated. I like Shukr dresses a lot as they look very simple but elegant and the colours are very subtle.

With due respect for all the Muslims who participated in the show, I felt uncomfortable with some of the clothing style and in the manner they have been portrayed at the fashion catwalk. There was loud western music at the time of the fashion show. Was that really necessary when we as Muslims are quite aware of the impermissibility of Music?

The basic concept of hijab is very clear. The dress cannot be tight, figure hugging, see-through as well as it need to cover the whole body accept the face and hands up to the wrist. There are also some Muslims who believe that covering the face (niqab) is also necessary. But unfortunately some of the dresses were quite tight and see through. Some may argue that it was done exclusively for sisters but are sisters really confined to only sisters’ arena in their day to day life? Where are they going to wear these cloths? And more importantly, why is it so necessary to wear something which we are not able to wear in a public place? Can’t we muslimahs look beautiful and modest at the same time? I believe of course we can.

I do believe that there are certain fashion trends in West which may seem modest and can be incorporated in Islamic clothing but that doesn’t mean that we should also copy the traits which contradict the basic requirements of hijab for the sake of looking ‘cool and trendy’. In regard to jewellery and make up, it is also strongly recommended to wear them exclusively in front of family members and mahrams (the people who you cannot get married to) and not to show off your beauty in public.

Unfortunately at Islam expo, there were quite a lot of sisters especially the younger ones who have given me the impression that they tend to overlook these basic requirements of hijab. Lot of sisters are trying to follow the new fashion trends in the West without really thinking that much whether it goes with the requirements of hijab. It feels like hijab has got a new meaning now a days, which is to cover your hair but don’t bother about any other parts of your body! You can hardy see the hair even a single one but you can roughly figure out what size clothing someone wears! This new trend saddens me. We are here to worship Allah SWT to the best of our ability. Why are we compromising our faith just to please the people around us? Why we sisters are so obsessed with latest fashion when Allah SWT has honoured us with a great duty to be a Muslimah and help the Ummah (the community of believers) of our beloved prophet Mohammad SAW to get bigger and stronger? I am not saying that we should not look smart and beautiful in our hijab cause we should but what I have issue with is the fact that we are wasting our energy, money and most importantly our limited time on this earth in pursuit of futile fashion trends and strong urge to be ‘up-to-date’ with the pop culture of the day! If we follow the lifestyle of non-Muslims can we then really call us Muslims? The issue of hijab is a huge but very important topic to delve in that’s why Insha-Allah I would like to cover the issue later .

There were so many activities at expo which we were unable to attend such as beautiful Quran recitation by some very well-known reciters such as Sheikh Mohammed Jebril, Sheikh Ahmad Saad as well as the young boy Mohammad Aswat who won the Qirat competition last year which was organised by Islam channel. There were live performances by Khayaal theatre, Pencak Silat demonstration by the Silat centre (Silat is a special practice of martial arts) as well as lute playing, story-telling, poetry reading and so on. There was sport zone where some sport personalities were present. My husband has managed to have a glance of Mohammad Yusuf (previously known as Yusuf Yuhana) the famous Pakistani cricketer who has reverted to Islam alhamdulillah. There was also cookery zone where live cooking demonstration took place across the 4 day event. It was like too many things happening in such a short time to cover! I must say, overall the Islam expo 2008 was done quite nicely. Around 40,000 people turn up to the exhibition. May Allah SWT bless the people who made it possible to have such a vast array of activities to be done under one roof.

Journey to motherhood....

All praise to Allah Subhana Wa Tawala, recently I have been blessed with the wonderful opportunity of being a mother .While I was pregnant with my baby boy, I tried to study the Islamic aspect of motherhood and to my sheer amazement were engulfed with lots of beautiful sayings about the importance and blessings of being a mother. Unfortunately in these day and age, people tend to look down on this noble profession due to ignorance.

Here I would like to share with you some of the wonderful things I have learned from the study insha-Allah.

Believe it or not, we are living in a society where having a good secular education and a good career is seen as the symbol of so-called success. In last couple of decades we have been witnessing a huge change in how people see their hopes and aspirations. The pace of life has become really fast, in fact super-fast. Hardy anybody seems to have time to ponder upon the changes and perhaps most importantly the effect it has brought in our life. We are living in a consumer-driven society where what we can afford is more important then what we really need to be happy and satisfied with our life. Logos and brands are seen as very vital possession to acquire. In order to afford all the glitz and glamour, we all are busy in gaining as much money as possible. Thus, due to this material obsession we tend to forget our real goal in life which is to follow and obey the commands of our Creator.

In the holy Qur'an Allah SWT has told us the reason of our creation. We are solely created to worship Him. Only through worshiping Him we can get satisfaction and real success in this life and in the hereafter. Though most of us are busy with gaining wealth and showing it off we tend to be suffering more with lack of happiness than ever before. It used to be assumed that the rich are the happiest but close observation of their life shows the sheer sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction they experience with their life. It proves the ultimate truth of the existence of a Creator without whose help we will never be able to be truly happy. We do not know what exactly can make us happy but He knows as He has created us.

Our Creator has allocated every single one of us with certain roles and with roles come responsibilities. I don’t care how ‘backdated’ I may sound saying this but I firmly believe that men should be the bread winner and women should handle the household activities. As far as I understand, there is no problem in Islam regarding career women but there must be a balance. Women who work but neglect their vital duty as daughters, wives, mothers and sisters cannot be excused of their guilt. However, if the situation they are in necessitates that then that’s a different issue. The vast resources of our faith provides us with plenty of example of great women who not only excelled as wives and mothers but had a tremendous career as scholars, teachers, businesswomen and the list goes on masha-Allah.

Now let us delve in Islamic perspectives on motherhood ….

If we ponder upon the Quran and the Sunnah of the our beloved prophet (SAW) , we can find lots of examples of great women whose lives first and foremost evolve around the role as mother. Allah mentions couple of female role models for Muslims in the Qur’an: Maryam (A) – mother of Isa (Jesus) AS, Aasiya- Pharaoh's wife, wife of Imran better known as mother of Maryam (AS) and so on. In terms of Pharaoh's’s wife it can be argued that she was the foster mother of Musa AS (Moses). These noble women have sacrificed a lot to bring up such great offspring. They are regarded as the best women and are seen as perfect role model for us. One of the main reasons of their high status in Islam was their total devotion to Allah SWT which necessitates fulfilling the responsibilities set by the Creator. Here societal demands couldn’t stop them from performing their duty towards Allah SWT. They did not compromise their strong relation with Allah SWT just to please the people around them, which is just the opposite of what we tend to do now a days unfortunately.

The life and sayings (Sunnah) of our prophet Muhammad SAW also provides us with great examples of women who rarely failed in their duty as mothers. His wife Khadija RAW and his daughter Fatima RAW are two of the greatest women in Islam. However, as Islam is a lifestyle with wonderful balance that’s why we also have the great example of Ayesha RAW who was not a biological mother to anyone but she is regarded as one of the most prominent mothers of the believer (Ummul Muminin) as she was a great scholar who shared her tremendous knowledge with her community. Being a teacher is also a very important aspect in a mother’s life. In Islam mothers and fathers are the main teachers for their children. The Muslim women should never forget that the mother’s responsibility in bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than that of the father, because children tend to be closer to their mother and spend more time with her. She is more likely to be aware about their behavioural, emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the difficult time of teenage years.

There are some verses I came across in the Qur’an which I would like to mention here as it gives me sheer joy and satisfaction as a mother.

“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him fort with hardship and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: “My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and that I may do righteous good deeds such as please You, and make my offspring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance and truly I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will).” Al-Ahqaf 46: 15

"The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, that’s for those parents who desire to complete the term of sucking, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child.” Al-Baqarah 2:233

Thus we can see the Qur’an elevates kindness to parents and especially mothers to a status second only to the worship of Allah: “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him and to parents good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age while with you, say not to them so much as “uff” [an expression of disapproval or irritation] and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say: “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.” 17:23-24 See also 31:14 and 29:8

Now if we shade some light on the Sunnah we can see lots of wonderful sayings on motherhood. A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father”. It reminds me of one of my very close friend who told me that this hadith makes her feel like mothers are given all the medals – gold, silver and bronze and fathers are left with the consolation prize! Moreover, Islam teaches us that "Heaven is at the feet of mothers."

Its been narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden us ( 1 ) to be disrespectful to our mothers (2) to withhold (what we should give) or (3) demand (what we do not deserve), and (4) to bury our daughters alive. The Sunnah teaches us the best women are the one who are virtuous; they are the most affectionate to children, and the most careful of their husband's property. Subhanallah the list goes on. I don’t want to bore you with too much information! That’s why I would like to stop here.

While going through the difficulties of pregnancy the wisdom of the Qur’an and our dear prophet’s sayings made me feel content with my situation alhamdulillah. I would advise all the sisters to study the religious texts to know more about this great profession while they are pregnant or if possible even before that as it will definitely make you feel prepared ( a bit actually as there is no end to knowledge!) for the big day Insha-Allah ! The day when I was finally able to hold my tiny bundle of joy I was feeling ecstatic but at the same time I was feeling overwhelmed with such a huge responsibility. There are so many things to learn and learning takes time. That’s why it’s best to prepare ourselves as proper Muslim mother from the very beginning Insha-Allah. We must remember that we will be questioned by Allah SWT on the day of judgement about this mammoth task as a mother- whether we have full filled our duty and helped them to be good practising Muslim or we neglected our task and as a result our children ended up as ungrateful servants of Allah SWT! Will we be able to come up with any valid excuse on that day?