Friday, 25 February 2011

Trials in life

Life sometimes gets quite hard. We cannot really afford to have a life with no worries. Recently my mum-in-law got diagnosed with cancer. Inna lillahe wa inna ilaiher rajeuun. It made me feel very sad and worried for her. For the first time, I feared loosing her Subhanallah. I met her for the first time in February of 2006 when she came to our place to meet us. I never thought I would feel so emotional for my mum-in-law. I guess life is full of surprises. I grew up in a culture where in-laws are always the ‘outsiders’ and hardly seen as well-wishers, unfortunately. It’s not just the society and people around us but also the media and popular culture who reinforces this sort of negative attitude towards in-laws. Life can get quite bitter if you are always paranoid and sceptical about how others behave with you. If you get a bit of negative attitude towards you, you end up blaming them for ‘judging’ you and not regarding you as their own. I have learnt from my experience that I need to trust people and stop judging according to my prejudices. Also thanks to my own too emotional state, I used to always tend to think in-laws just don’t like me.

But alhamdulillah there are so many things to learn from life. Insha-Allah it is going to be our fifth anniversary in September and life has changed a lot for us, alhamdulillah. I think I did suffer from mother-in-law phobia at the start of my marriage thanks to my own messed-up thinking process. This mother-in-law phobia is also known as ‘Pentheraphobia’ quite a scary word I must admit!

I guess for both of us the changes were overwhelming. She became a mother-in-law for the first time and for me being married I came across quite a lot of new faces who I was supposed to adjust with. First couple of years for a married couple can be quite daunting. So many things to think about Subhanallah ! Alhamdulillah my husband has been very supportive from the very beginning. The more I got to know my mum-in-law I felt I can relate to her. There was a time when I just chose to see only the negative sides of her totally ignoring all the nice things she has done for me. May Allah swt forgive me for all the shortcomings I have. Through spending more time with her I came to realize how wrong I was to judge her.

Alhamdulillah I am very lucky to have her in my life. She has done a lot for me. During both of my pregnancies, she has been very supportive alhamdulillah. I never thought a mother-in-law would do that much for the daughter-in-law. She is a lovely woman who has gone through a lot in life but hardly complains. There are so many things to learn from her.

This week she went through the operation and alhamdulillah the tumour has been removed but we need to wait till next Thursday to find our whether the cancer has spread anywhere else. Please do keep her in your duas. Allah swt is the Curer. May Allah swt cure her in a way that no traces of cancer is left, ameen.


thenthuligal said...

assalamu alaikum,
subhanallah, I felt exactly the same about how you felt about your in-laws
and my perspective did change about them and lot others later. No doubt Islam makes you a better person.
My grandma was also diagnosed with cancer. She was operated on last week and she is doing well. She is an excellent human being. someone I always look up to. Lets make dua for both of them to get better. ameen ya rabbil a'lameen.

Umm Imran said...

Jazakallah khairan sis for the lovely comment. May Allah swt grant shifa to your grandma and make this difficult time a great oppurtunity to wash away all the sins insha-Allah. May Allah swt give you and your family lots of strength and patience to endure this test, Ameen.