7/7/2005

That was my first day of work as a sociology teacher . I was really excited. The headteacher introduced me to a very lovely sister who helped me to familiarise myself with the school and the girls I was suppose to teach. Her name was Farzana. She was happily married and mother of three beautiful children. On that day when the bombing happened, all the buses were suspended. I was quite scared thinking how on earth I am gonna go home! As a hijabi I felt quite unsafe to step out of the school. People were already guessing the culprits must be Muslim but unfortunately they were not wrong :-( I still don't understand how those guys thought that they were going to do a great job by murdering innocent people. They believed that nobody is innocent. Apparently most of us voted for Tony Blair's government so we have to pay the price. What a ridiculous argument! When Muslims don't really study and understand their faith, this sort of disastrous concept can cloud their mind and as a result we end up with some messed up Muslims who through their stupid action do more harm than good for the ummah. That day no doubt was a sad day for all of us but for me that day will always bring some special memories of my friend and sister in deen Farzana. She showed me all the stuff I needed for teaching. She introduced all her colleagues and students to me. I thought she must be a popular teacher mashallah. During all the hustle and bustle she was feeding her 2 years old daughter. She was so nice to me that she dropped me near my house on that day. I felt really grateful to her for helping me so much given we just met on that day. Needless to say, our friendship was getting stronger day by day. We used to discuss about all sorts of issue affecting the Muslims. I enjoyed talking to her as unlike most of the girls, we didn't really talk about make up and dresses and so on.

Sadly she was diagnosed with cancer in Ramadan.We lost her in March of 2008. I still remember the last time I talked to her on phone. Her brother donated her bone marrow and we all thought she was recovering from the cancer. She sounded very fragile but she was as usual very strong. She told me she was all right. I felt very happy thinking she is healing but just after couple of days I received the news of her death. Inna lillahe wa inna ilaiher rajeuun ... Certainly we belong to our Lord Allah swt and we will return to Him!

Last Sunday I went to her grave in Garden of Peace. My 3 and a half years old son Imran was with me. He looked a bit confused. I told him my friend is sleeping here. I felt so sad thinking about her. She was only 35. Her children were all under 10 around that time. Her children must be missing her so much. I miss her. Looking at the graves there I was thinking I can end up here very soon. Have I prepared myself for this home? Soon or later I am going to my grave. I am so scared just thinking about it as I feel I am not ready yet. May Allah swt grant my dear sister jannatul ferdous. May Allah swt bless her children and make them the best of Muslims. May Allah swt forgive us and help us to become better Muslims, Ameen.